What is meant by “soul mate”? Actually, a soul realized is complete in itself and has no need for the other. This term we use “soul mate” is really code words, which signify our deep desire to find a loving and fulfilling “life-mate”.
The problem using the words “soul mate” is that it also has the connotation of perfect and finding the “one-and-only”. This is unrealistic. This sets you up to finding someone who cannot live up to those unreal expectations and then leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Of course, then you need to go out and start all over again to find your new “soul mate”–your newest “one-and-only”. The good news for you is that it is much more realistic (and easier) to find the right man/women that can bring you those qualities that provide a loving and completely satisfying relationship for life a “life-mate”.
It is important to know for yourself what it is you want in a relationship. When I say “you”, I mean on all levels; from the mental, emotional, physical and to the spiritual–what is it you truly want in a fulfilling relationship? What are the qualities in a man/women that you are looking for, and that are compatible to yours.
There are a number of points to consider and specific likes and dislikes when manifesting a new life mate partner into your life, or even creating a better partnership with the one you have. Look into yourself to see what is most important to you.
After you read the list below, take some time, and find a quiet place to sit, play some relaxing music, once you are settled, then begin to imagine yourself with the perfect partner what would that look like? See yourself living a life that is fulfilling and satisfying with your partner. How does your day unfold with one another, how do your treat each other, what do you do together or apart. Allow other things to flow into your mind, how you want to be treated and how you would treat your partner. See your movie as if you are living it in real time, not off in the future talking about it, but actually living it. Doing this helps to manifest it into form.
20 Points to Consider in Manifesting your Life Mate Partner
1) Do you want a partner who sees you as an individual, important, with your own goals and dreams, a partner who can support you in who you are; can give you the freedom to be yourself.
2) Do you want a partner who is not already married, or at least is legally separated, or would you choose to be with some who is in a relationship with someone else as well as with you. Ask yourself how would that be. For some people this is OK and others NOT. Be honest with yourself!
3) Do you want a long distance relationship, would that be ok.
4) Are you someone who makes it a priority in your life to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, do you want your partner to do the same.
5) What is your spiritual or religious path, your partner should be in alignment with that same path, otherwise it is hard to make it work on a deeper level. There is nothing more important than our spiritual self and our connection to God/Source/Spirit. You will want a partner to walk that path with.
6) What are your concerns and beliefs around finances, your partners should be similar.
7) Do you exercise and take care of your health, do you want a partner who does the same.
8) Is it important to be with someone who takes their health seriously; to do what it takes to stay healthy.
9) Does an age difference matter, and how much of an age difference would be OK.
10) Does nationality matter, sometimes it can be difficult in communication and working with belief systems when we are from different cultures and backgrounds.
11) What are your feelings regarding children, having children, raising someone else’s children, being with someone who will love your children. Do you want a partner that participates with the children you already have or may have, and in what way.
12) Is being with someone who is intellectual, or creative, or in tune with nature, important.
13) How important is it to be with someone who is emotionally open and available, or who demonstrates affection, and how much would be enough, what would meet your needs.
14) Does it matter if you have the same political views or not.
15) Do you want a partner who sees your needs as important.
16) Do you want a partner who is kind, gentle, caring, non violent, aggressive and controlling.
17) Do you like the outdoors and being active. Are you someone who enjoys being at home, doing things around the house.
18) Do you like socializing, with lots of people in your life, or do you prefer to have a few close friends and family to spend your time with.
19) Do you like sports, hate sports, how much do you want it in your life. A partner who watches sports occasionally, or a partner who watches sports 24-7.
20) Do you like to drink alcohol, how much, how much do you see it as part of your life, how much do you want it to be a part of your life.
When you have finished going through your list and getting clarity on what is most important to you, then you can say the phrase…
“I am calling in a loving whole and beautiful relationship, I am willing to be open to date, and relate, but I am not willing to compromise what is most important to me.”
Here are some points to consider below. Once you have made a list of them, with each one ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how important is this point to consider. Example: do you want children, is that a 1 or a ten. Do you want alcohol in your life is that a 4 or an 9. The point is you want to see what is important to you and what is not. Then when you are meeting the person who will be a potential partner where on the list of what is important are they. In this way you will not be fooling yourself or compromising what is most important. Yes I know on some things we will come to a compromise but there are some things that we cannot.
In this way when you meet someone you can know pretty well either right off or after a date or two whether this is a person that you want to go into a committed relationship with or simply enjoy them as a friend, someone to date now and then or not at all. It is not only that we have to be looking for the one and only, but it is good to have friendships and simply relating to others in a casual way. This allows us to learn about love and who we are, and share with one another.
I see thousands of clients a year, one problem when you are wanting to call a life mate partner into you life is that because of the need to have someone in your life, we tend to over look many of the things that are important to us in having a great relationship. Such as personality traits in the other, likes and dislikes, beliefs, patterns, and conditionings, that are different than our own or how we would want to live our life.
We tend to have a goal to look for a potential life mate partner, in every one we date, we try to make the person fit the mold or script we have for them. This usually does not work and in the end we become discouraged and disappointed, and set our-selves up for rejection from the other or we reject the other, we then feel love is impossible and we have failed.
Too often people are in search of someone, anyone to share their life with out of fear of loneliness, the need to have children, or to help raise the children, feelings of getting old, family pressure, not wanting to be alone, and not trusting that God/Existence will bring a partner to them in the right timing.
Instead of setting yourself up for failure, take some time to really look inside yourself to see what is most important to you in creating the right partner for yourself.
Heart Meditation — (10 minutes)
Play some heartfelt music and sit across from each other, knees slightly touching and holding hands. Then, take a deep breath into the belly, on the exhalation release and let go of any tension. Repeat two more times. Next, focusing on the heart center, place one hand on your heart, breathe slowly and softly. Visualize a color of healing (green or pink), breath this into the heart, feeling the heart expanding. Be aware of bringing your total awareness to your heart. Look into each other’s eyes, you entering into your beloved and your beloved entering into you. No talking, no distractions; just allowing the feelings to be present, whatever they are. Soft focusing of your eyes seeing into one another. Allowing the energies to flow back and forth between your hearts. At the end of this meditation give your beloved a hug, remain in the heart space, and then share your experiences.
“Love brings freedom. Loyalty brings slavery.
On the surface they look alike, deep down, they are just the opposite.
Loyalty is acting; you have been educated for it. Love is wild; its whole beauty is in its wildness.
It comes like a breeze with great fragrance, fills your heart,
and suddenly where there was a desert there is a garden full of flowers.” Osho
Love and Blessings Nirup
Nirup, is a Psychic, Intuitive Counselor, Spiritual Mentor, Relationship Counselor, Teacher and Past Life Regression Therapist. She has been guiding others on their life’s path since 1990. Visit Nirup in Sedona Arizona, for an in person reading or call for a phone session at 928-300-8338.